Turbo

A little garden snail that firmly believes "No dream is too big, and no dreamer too small." And with that goal in mind, Theo races his heart out at the Indianapolis 500.  

Turbo is predictable and kind of resemble a miniature version of fast and furious, except that it happens on a snail, the least probable creature to be associated with the word "fast".   Regardless, it is a cute entertaining animation for kids.   

Rating:  3 out of 5 fairy clouds.   Not my cup of tea but what the heck anyways.  There are a couple of cool moves that make the snails kick butts, but that's it.

Lone Ranger

"Hi-ho Silver! Away!" is the infamous line of John Reid, the Lone Ranger, who is always accompanied by his side kick and trusted Comanche friend, Tonto.  Oh wait!  And the theme song from William Tell Overture!  The good old cowboy... YEEHAA!!!

The modern rendition of the Lone Ranger is portrayed by Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp and there are endless moments of intriguing and yet funny dialogues between the two leads.   Never a dull moment through the movie.

It starts with the little young boy who idolizes the Lone Ranger, meets a native American mannequin that shares his story with his "Ke-mo sah-bee" (original translation is trusty scout and 'wrong brother' in this 2013 film).  

Reid returns home to Colby Texas, only to encounter a brutal and cannibalistic outlaw, Butch Cavendish.  While pursuing the outlaw, all the rangers are ambushed and killed except Reid.   Tonto rescues Reid and calls him  the"Spirit Walker", i.e. one who cannot be killed in battle.   Together, the duo embarks on a journey to bring justice by hunting down Cavendish and his men, and then continues to fight the bad boys in the Old West.  

I like to share a couple of the quotes that tickled me. 

[When Silver appears on the barn roof to save Reid and Tonto] 
John Reid:  The horse can fly?
Tonto:  Don't be stupid. 
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Tonto:  Nice Shot.
John Reid:  That was supposed to be a warning shot. 
Tonto:  In that case, not so good. 
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[When Silver appears on a tree branch] 
Tonto:  Something very wrong with that horse. 
----------------------
John Reid:  Hi-ho Silver, away! 
Tonto:  Never do that again.

Rating:  4.5 out of 5 fairy clouds.   A funny movie that got me laughing non-stop.  While the movie is generally predictable, there are still a couple of interesting twists.  An enjoyable movie that makes you feel in awe of the cool cowboy rangers. 

Despicable Me 2

Despicable Me 2 is oozing with cuteness as the minions continue to be despicably silly. 

When the secret laboratory in the Arctic Circle mysteriously disappears, the Anti-Villain League (AVL) has no other choice but to recruit Gru for their new mission.   Pairing of Lucy Wilde, the new AVL agent and Gru spark new chemistry between the duo.  The undercover work led Gru to a super villain El Macho and discovery of the plot behind the deadly mutant chemical, PX-41.  

Like all wholesome family entertainment, Gru, Lucy, the girls and minions save the world from hostile takeover by El Macho, thereby ending the story beautifully with an 'ahem' expected wedding.

The first movie definitely performs much better than the sequel.  This is partly because viewers form expectation of what Gru, the girls and the bubbly cute popping yellow capsules, I meant minions, are likely to do and behave.  Overall, it is still a fun and lighthearted movie to cheer you up.     

Rating:  4 out of 5 fairy clouds.  For the unexpected rendition of "I Swear" and "YMCA" by the minions, I gave this animated movie an additional 1/2 cloud.  

Brokeback Moutain

It took me 8 years before I have a chance to watch Brokeback Mountain.   Not that it was censored or blocked, but I didn't have the time to find this movie.

The story of Brokeback Mountain is simply one of forbidden love and pressure of society against same sex relationship.   It has taken Ennis de Mar 20 years to acknowledge his undying love for Jack Twist.   He finally realizes how precious Jack has been to him and it is a love which he cannot replace.  It is a difficult feat for a man who does not handle emotions well as he has been brought up to be all manly and not mushy.  

The movie is amazing.  The story is well-told and beautiful.   You feel for both the lovers and also the people around them.   Coupled with the good acting by the two male lead actors, I can only say superb.  

Rating:  5 out of 5 fairy clouds.   No one should miss this excellent movie.   Go watch it if you have not, unless you are a homoprobe, then please stay away.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Way before Frodo inherited the cursed magic Ring, The Hobbit recounts the adventure of Bilbo Baggins 60 years ago, a prequel to Lord of The Ring.  The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is first installment of a 3-part movie.

The peace-loving and homely little Hobbit Bilbo is minding his own business in the Shire when Gandalf The Grey rekindles his fantasy of the Middle Earth, a world beyond the river where no respectable hobbits will venture.

Unknowingly and in fact unwillingly to a certain extent, Bilbo becomes the thief on assignment by the company of 13 Dwarves, led by Thorin.   The mission is simple, they want to reclaim their rightful ownership of the gold and treasures lying under the Lonely Mountain that was stolen by Smaug, the Dragon.

Traveling into the wild, the group passes through Misty Mountain and is unfortunately captured by the Goblins.  The Hobbit is a race unknown to these vile creatures and hence Bilbo is separated from the group.  Here he meets Gollum for the first time and pockets the Ring that he won as a wager from the riddle game, forcing the poor creature into leading the way out of the mountain.

Having narrowly escaping death, Bilbo rejoins the Dwarves who manage to free themselves from the Goblins, only to find themselves landing into another battle with the Wargs and then save by the Eagles with the help of Gandalf.  What's next for Bilbo and his company?  Well, either you read the book or wait for part 2.

Rating: 5 out of 5 fairy clouds.  Great to watch The Hobbit on the big screen.   I read this book more than 10 years ago and resented the movie directors for producing Lord of The Ring first.   Better late than never.  The Hobbit is a much lighter read and fun filled adventure through the eyes of Bilbo.  Strange that Frodo is such a negative little fellow, totally opposite of his mischievous uncle.

To be honest, I can't wait to watch Part 2 and listen to the deep and rich voice of Benedict Cumberbatch.   *DROOL...

Fifty Shades of Grey

Of all the kinky fuckery, you'll get Fifty Shades of Grey.   I do not typically review book but I think this trilogy deserved some as it got me thinking too much and some old personal issues actually surfaced.  Much said without details.

I consumed the entire 3 books within a week as I wanted to know how the story ends.  You can hate me for this but I won't give a damn.  I'm cold, just like Grey is.

The plot is simple.  Boy meets girl.  Girl falls in love.  Love changes everything.   Now Boy loves girl.  They live happily ever after.   Erotica is plenty and description lousy.   Of the myriad of English descriptors, only few were used and repeatedly overused literally speaking.  It gets boring after reading the same "cut-and-paste" sex scene over umpteen times. 

What I like about Fifty Shades?  Apart from the fact that it is romantic, it is really a girl's fantasy to meet a man who is absolutely crazy and protective of you and the additional perks, he is rich, filthy rich that the world suddenly becomes an oyster served on a golden (perhaps platinum) platter.

What I hate about Fifty Shades?  It romanticized BDSM relationship and that love can change a man.  I'm sorry to burst the bubble, baby.  That only happens in your imagination and perhaps on the big screens of Hollywood.

Yes, yes, consenting adults in BDSM are simply people who seek alternative lifestyle.  I have no issue with that.  However, I honestly doubt that a man who gets such a kick from beating the shit out of little brown hair girls will suddenly switches over to prefer vanilla.  NAH-UH!  I'm sorry to say that the reality should be that he is damn angry as hell and looks forward to beating the living daylight out of you for daring to walk out.   Power is never fair in such relationship. Oh yes, he loves you, in the department of pain. 

Oh yes, about the love.   Since when love changes everything in the real world?  When a man drops everything and runs charging to where you are, stalk you or track you down via GPS, you run girl.  RUN.   Yes, he definitely loves you till death do you apart.  That is not protection baby, that is a maniac on the loose.   If you stay, you have not regards for your own safety, as Ana always does.

Oh ya, and one other thing.  It is depressing to see depressing people with no self confidence who will give up power (and do anything) just to receive love.  It isn't right and its NOT healthy.   Everyone deserves to be loved and no one love is more grand or inferior than another love.  

Rating:  4 out of 5 fairy clouds.   It is really an enticing book but remember it is fifty shades of fantasy.  On a lighter note, it gives hope to girls and women who are bored of their lives and relationships.  God bless E. L. James for the good deed and creation of Mommy Porn. 

I may read it again when I have some free time a few years from now.   But seriously, I like to read the version of Fifty Shades through Grey's mind.  I'm an INTJ, can't blame me for analyzing every details till death. Let's look forward to the movie for now. 

Ted

Little eight-year old John Bennett's dream came true when a large-size teddy bear comes to life and becomes his only best friend.   Fast forwarding to current day, the 35-year old John is still clinging to his thunder buddy and getting high together.

After dating for 4 years, Lori finally has enough of John's nonsense.  He remains to be a boy who never grows up because he is still best friend to a teddy bear.  The storyline is pretty much predictable and requires little imagination of how the next scene should proceed.

Ted is not your typical warm, friendly and nice teddy bear.   He is a fouled mouth and unruly little teddy bear, sugar-coated by his cute cuddly fuddly fuzzy fluffy exterior.  But this makes him rather charming and funny.  Yet, he is also a reflection of the owner who simply refuses to take responsibility for anything in his life.

There are a couple of funny moments and jokes made by Ted that I find quite amusing, from his curt remarks that won him a job at the supermarket and subsequently a promotion, to the numerous letters he wrote to Hasbro for his small ****.  Crude toilet humours are still worth some laughter when you watch a trashy movie.

Rating:  4 out of 5 fairy clouds.  Do manage your expectation.  The feeling I got from watching Ted is like you are watching a kid who never grows up, still living in a fantasy world.   In reality, John would have been a lousy friend, boyfriend and person, essentially loser.  But a handsome face helps you discount his bad.