Dead Like Me

For those of you who have watched "Dead Like Me", bravo! Its a damn good show. For those of you who didn't, I recommend watching it. Funny as hell and brillant as mad scientist! Sadly there's only 2 seasons, check out http://www.deadlikeme.tv.

Some of the quotes which I love from the show.

Georgia [waiting at Happy Times for Dolores]

I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma.

Mason [talking to Roxy @ Waffleshaus]

Because you're an ornery bitch who eats puppy dogs for breakfast.

Mason & Roxy [ahem, the cocaine in his rectum]

R: What's wrong with you? Are you stoned?

M: I've got illegals in my bottom...

R: Why do you do this to yourself?

M: I don't know.

Georgia [narration at the beginning of the show]

I'm going to tell you a story, not my story, that's later, this is just a story... Ready? Once upon a time, or more specifically at the dawn of time, god, lower case "g", was getting busy with creation, as the kids these days are saying. He gave Toad a clay jar and said, "Be careful with this. It's got death inside". Pleased as punch and oblivious to the fact that he was about to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, Toad promised to guard the jar. Then one day Toad met Frog. "Let me hold the jar of death, or what ever you call it", Frog begged. With a nod to Nancy Reagan's pros of wisdom, Toad just said no. But Frog was determined, and after much wining Toad finally gave in. "You can hold it, but only for a second", he said. In his excitement, Frog began to hop around and juggle the death jar from one foot to the other. Frog was an asshole. "Stop!" Toad cried out, but it was to late. Frog dropped the jar and it shattered to the ground. When it broke open, death got out, and ever since then all living things have to die. Makes you wonder how much better the world would be if frogs just stuck to hawking beer. So there you have it, the mystery of death finally revealed. We all die, some of us sooner then later. For me it's going to be much sooner. But that's only the beginning of my story.

Mason [referring to Rube, after Georgia screwed up]

Stay on his good side. He's like a volcano, George. He erupts and spews lava in little villages. They run around, they run around for their lives. But you know he stops and you can go back to the safety of your own home.

Rube [commenting on Georgia]

You're a constipator, Peanut. You disturb my shit, and that's annoying.

Rube [to woman who cut queue by joining her acquaintance in the post office]

R: I have a question for you... is everyone in this line an asshole?

W: Excuse me?

R: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?

W: No.

R: So it's just you then?

W: I have children in the car.

R: I have a cake in the oven. He's got three minutes left on the meter. And she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful.

Roxy [to the man who cussed her after she booked him a ticket]

I'm going to put this politely as possible. I will fuck you up!